What Readers & Reviewers Are Saying ...

Perspective is everything – “It’s not what we’re looking at, it’s where we’re looking from!” 

The Greek philosopher, Socrates, said, “the unexamined life is not worth living”.   But such an examination is not as easy as it sounds, there’s a lot going on in the mind.  You need a guide.  John Broadbent is qualified, and now is a very good time to start.

Western society is in a transition period, a time when gender roles could do with some adjustment to fit the modern world.  Women want a fair go in the work place, help in the domestic arena, a strong reliable man, plus intimacy.  Quite a list.   Many men are trying to fit the bill but are struggling with identity issues.  Many others are reacting negatively believing they are losing power in an ‘us and them’ contest, and some are turning to right wing politics to make their point.

In Man Unplugged – Secret Men’s Business – For Men & Those Who Love Them, John Broadbent plots out a path for men to break free from society’s rigid ideas of masculinity.  And, right from the beginning, Broadbent emphasises it is not about ‘either/or’ but ‘and’, men and women respecting, listening, and supporting one another.  Quoting accurate statistics re male health, incarceration, violence, and death, he makes clear there is much work to do to improve the physical, emotional and mental health of men.

 Men: we have a problem.  The facts speak for themselves.  Now let’s get on with doing something about it since we are inherently good at fixing things, however not apparently ourselves.

As the title suggests, this is also essential reading for women to understand the obstacles men must tackle and how they can help their partners and sons.  I might add, although written as a guide for men, there are chapters that apply equally to women particularly dealing with unconscious hurt and grief, less than ideal father relationships, and how to strip back cultural imperatives to reveal an authentic self.  It takes work – here Broadbent provides a useful guide to living an authentic life.

First, and above all else, I heartily agree with Broadbent: this should not be about female power over OR male power over.  It has to be about male AND female working together, respecting and listening, with the goal of getting a result for future relations.  To do this a certain amount of ‘letting go’ needs to happen.  Many women and men harbor bitter resentment, nevertheless, to move forward freely this baggage needs to be jettisoned.

Broadbent discusses so many aspects of male life from mothering, fathering, the different types of intelligence beyond the usual IQ, relationships, sexuality, shame, divorce, authenticity, getting in touch with grief, learning how to deal with fear and anger so it is not converted to violence and drugs.  And many more topics within the twenty-seven chapters, Man Unplugged is a comprehensive well-researched work that provides wide-ranging references for websites and books for further study.  Broadbent also uses his own life, describing his personal psychotherapeutic journey.  To comment briefly on a few issues.

Broadbent dedicates a whole chapter to ‘Shame’.  Not many of us escaped discipline via shame, Broadbent discusses how shaming undermines self-worth.  Apparently, shame is an occupational hazard for men giving them a feeling of not measuring up.  Broadbent discusses initiations, or hazing, prevalent in private schools and the armed forces.  There is a link that goes from shame to humiliation to violence.  Psychiatrists now believe the shame-humiliation-violence trajectory is a root causes of endemic violence.  Crucial information.  Usefully, Broadbent discusses how to recover from shame.

In the chapter ‘Divorce’ there is another example of much needed information concerning man’s midlife crisis, which explains a well-known but misunderstood phenomenon.  Briefly, the steps are: man falls in love, marries and puts his goddess on a pedestal because she fulfils his missing half.  She changes in the course of having children etc, not quite the goddess image he initially sought.   Man redirects goddess image onto a younger women.  Marriage breaks up.  He feels renewed and happy … until …  younger girl dumps him, or she too loses the goddess image herself.  Man grows through his mid-life transition and wonders what on earth was he thinking, tries to return to family but ex-wife has moved on, if only emotionally.  This results in enormous financial burden and depression.  To quote Broadbent:

The saddest part is that there is a solution, and that is for men to do the ‘inner’ work.  That is to understand what it is we are seeking to complete us.

 Well, that is certainly good advice for everyone.

All women, married or otherwise, should read ‘The Man Cave’ chapter.  It is about how a man processes problems.  Firstly, he has to process what he is feeling.  I think women just know but it takes time for males to quietly work through his issues, so just wait until he emerges.

Chapter 20 ‘Boundaries’ and Chapter 21 ‘The Shadow’ both being applicable to men and women.  This really requires considerable thought.  Broadbent refers to Dr. C.  Jung’s book The Undiscovered Self, concerning owning your own shadow.  A strategy to unravel deep aspects of oneself in order to live an authentic life.  To quote Broadbent:

If we don’t create effective boundaries for our children, society will, and they’ll be much harsher.

He believes that people weak in their sense of personal boundaries is the cause of mob violence:

This is how genocides and atrocities happen through compliance, as individuals defer their own personal response-ability and value systems to the mob/gang/army/government.

Broadbent explains what he terms as ‘a witness process’, where, back to Socrates, one examines beliefs, assesses values and gains self-awareness.  This, he claims, induces a process separate from normal inner dialogue.

In Man Unplugged Broadbent uses statistics clearly indicating work has to be done to help males adapt to modern society to understand and prevail over violence, paedophilia and suicide that is currently widespread throughout all levels of society.  There is no condemnation, just pragmatic solutions on how to redefine stereotypical ideas of masculinity, how to be self-aware and live an authentic life.

The most male-friendly book I’ve ever read!

Dave Golding ~ Men’s Retreat Facilitator

Got myself a copy. Man Unplugged is one of those essential road maps for the masculine soul.

Terry McArthur ~ Author/poet/songwriter

It is time we all recognised how much good men bring to the lives of their partners, children, and society in general. Man Unplugged helps show the way, by encouraging men to have a newer, bigger vision for themselves.

Maggie Hamilton ~ Author of What Men Don’t Talk About and What’s Happening To Our Boys

Man Unplugged is a synthesis and evolution of all the disparate strands of ‘men’s business’ written in an intimate, layered and authentic voice. Katerina

Katerina Cosgrove ~ Author (https://www.authorcosgrove.com/books)

Man Unplugged cuts through layers of complex issues facing men, often woven into our most trusted relationships and masked by social norms. John combines personal insights, real-life experiences and practical tools from experts, inviting readers to engage with this second edition through their unique journey and worldview. Those who do will find themselves deeply challenged and emerge richer for the experience.

Blake Woodward ~ Founder of Suit Tie Stroller

Reading John’s “Man Unplugged” feels like pulling up a chair with a wise mate, laughing at the mess, then quietly facing the big stuff together.

The book reminds us as parents that “When a child is born, a father is born”, a line that slams home the truth our culture keeps missing: dads are made, not pre-installed, and they need support every bit as much as mums.

John strolls through stereotypes, mid-life meltdowns and the Kintsugi image of shards rebuilt with gold, proving men can break and come back better.

John’s Fatherhood chapter is pure gold: practical tips, raw confessions and a cracking image of a newborn as “paper” and dad as “pen” writing the first chapter. In a moment when headlines yell “boy crisis” and schools struggle with disengaged lads, John offers a road map that swaps blame for responsibility and invites dads to show up, not show off.

What I absolutely love the most is the tone: equal parts deep, authentic, caring conversation and evidence-based brief, with figures linking present fathers to lower youth crime and better mental health. No BS virtuous preaching, just straight talk and a nudge to try a men’s group, switch the phone off and be fully present for thirty minutes that matter more than three distracted hours.

If you care about the future of boys, grab this book, read it, pass it on, then take your son, nephew or mate for a walk and ask, “What story are we writing today?”

Well done, John, I’m sure this gem will be the start of bigger conversations!

Michael Ray ~ Author | Speaker | Advocate | LinkedIn Top Voice for Gender Equality, and most importantly, Charlie’s dad!

Reading Man Unplugged by John Broadbent was both stimulating and thought-provoking—a book I wish I had come across much earlier in life. Now, at 71, with 13 grandchildren, I found myself nodding in agreement, sometimes wincing at memories, and often reflecting on my own journey from boy to man, to father, and now grandfather. One of the moments that made me squirm was recalling the very awkward sex discussions I had with my own father as a boy—conversations that were just as uncomfortable years later when I had them with my son. If only we had better guidance back then! John’s insights into how we arrived at our current situation as men made complete sense, and I was encouraged to see that we are, albeit slowly, improving things. John does more than just analyse the issues—he shares his own lived experiences with remarkable vulnerability, something I deeply admire. His call for an Office for Men’s Health is spot on. Simply lumping men’s and women’s health together in generic services doesn’t serve men well. We must invest more in men if we truly want to see change. The powerful metaphor of Kintsugi—broken pieces being reassembled with gold to become even more valuable—resonated deeply with me. Just as Kintsugi restores broken pottery, Man Unplugged offers a path to repair and renewal for boys and men. This is a must-read for anyone who wants to better understand, support, and empower men on their journey through life.

Ian Westmoreland OAM ~ Founder of Mentoring Men Founder & CEO of Kintsugi Heroes

Reading the second half of your book ‘Man Unplugged’ today. Reading with so many hats on, mum, wife, practitioner, woman, so lots of different reactions but that is a good thing! My husband will also read it, if he can see it through all the notes I have made!

Dr Linda Wilson ~ Alternative therapist

What a journey of discovery with John Broadbent’s book, Man Unplugged. In my professional experience, the forgotten art and value of the rites of passage for boys into manhood has revealed men feeling adrift and seeking a deeper connection with their partner, children and friends. John shines a light on this very meaningful journey of masculine unfoldment, a significant quest waiting for every man. I trust this treasure by John will pave the way for many more men to connect with their own True Man and be the best partner, father and friend he can be.

Dr Elizabeth Celi ~ Psychologist & author of Breaking The Silence & Regular Joe vs Mr Invincible

I have just finished a marathon. I started reading Man Unplugged and could not put it down until I finished it. What a wonderful book it is – so many topics covered with lots of anecdotes and statistics and truths! I agreed with every single chapter and am thrilled that John has written it. My hope is that every woman purchases it for the men in their lives and that men buy it for themselves and their mates. Let’s make a difference in this world and come together to create peace, in our own lives, in our family, our community and the world. With thanks and gratitude.

Diane McCann ~ Director of Beyond The Ordinary: Seminars for the Soul

‘Man Unplugged’ is like an atlas of the man’s heart. It traverses the wide terrain of mountains and valleys, vulnerabilities and strengths, light and dark, of the experience of men. Importantly, John speaks to the everyman hero in a way that is calm, balanced and down to earth. I hope that many men will read it, and draw inspiration to continue walking their path toward being caring, healthy, whole versions of themselves. The world certainly needs them right now.

David Pointon ~ Co-Founder and CEO, The Men’s Table

In the 2nd edition of Man Unplugged, John has skilfully crafted and updated an already great book – he has a keen eye for the dynamics of the insincere and insecure nature of our prevailing consumer culture, where the burden of masculinity serves neither men nor women. Well worth a read!

David Mallard ~ President, Melbourne Men’s Group Inc & Facilitator

POWERFUL! I found Man Unplugged comprehensive and nourishing, and a must-read for men and women. John skillfully weaves his own rites of passage into the Great Journey all men must take, and much, much more. The reader is obliged to question, “Who am I in this matter?” John potently engages with both his head and his heart, and his chapter on Eldership directly mirrors my 82 years of lived experience!

David Dyke ~ Public speaker, film creator, mentor, rites of passage leader, wildlife activist

From a man who has been on a journey for over 30 years to understand my masculinity more deeply, I have found this 2nd edition of Man Unplugged to be both a liberation and a deep invitation to reflect on my current journey as a man in my Autumn years. John expresses insight and elements of his personal journey as a man, to unpack what ‘men’s work’ is all about. The more authentic and personally aware we are as men, the more we can unlock the stereotypes and the stuckness that holds us back from playing our part to be partners in liberating the world.

Brendan Sullivan ~ Cofounder of TASMEN Org and Executive Coach ~ Working to rehabilitate and improve the outcomes of incarcerated men

Man Unplugged provides incredibly valuable insights into the importance of a present and engaged father/father figure. In an ever-changing, confusing and expanding world, in which the role of the contemporary man and father has become convoluted and even demonised at times, Man Unplugged elicits clarity and steadies the ship for those who want to know how to best show up for their children. Fathers, father figures and single mothers alike will close the final pages of this book, understanding the vital importance a masculine role model plays in a child’s life, and will feel empowered to raise happy, healthy, kind, compassionate, loving and strong children that dare greatly, while feeling loved and supported to do so. The research overwhelmingly shows that the role of a father is not only distinct from that of a mother, but also vital to a child’s overall development. A child’s mental health, emotional stability, physical well-being, decision-making skills, problem-solving abilities, attitudes toward school, work, relationships, and life in general are all significantly enhanced when they feel the love and support of both an actively engaged mother and father. While each parent contributes differently, it is the presence and involvement of both that create the most stable and nurturing environment for a child to thrive. John Broadbent, in Man Unplugged, has done a fantastic job in packaging this research into concise and actionable messages that can help us as parents bring out the best in ourselves and our children.

Josh Wiggins ~ Community Dads Group Manager (NSW/QLD/ACT/NT) at The Fathering Project

You have in your hands a blueprint for the Male Spiritual Journey. As more and more men realise that their identity or sense of self can no longer be determined by the one-dimensional aspect of what they do, questions then need to be asked and answers found. John Broadbent has elegantly shared his soul and laid bare his journey in answering the big questions in his life. Man Unplugged sheds a much-needed light on a vital pathway for any man who seeks more from his life than what appears on the surface. Scratch that surface, open this book… and thus begins a close encounter of the first kind!

Andy Roy ~ Author of Raising Teenage Boys,Group Facilitator and Trainer, Guide, Coach and Mentor